Three Ways To Lift the Burden of Guilt

4 Minutes Read

woman sitting on the floor, feeling guilty, symbolizing the 3 ways to lift the burden of guiltI knew I was having a problem with guilt and shame. I was getting divorced. Failure was one of the only feelings I could connect with. I had enough faith to know that I would be ok eventually but who would want me? I was wracked with guilt.

Guilt is defined as a feeling or thought that occurs when a person believes or realizes — accurately or not — that they have compromised their own standards of conduct or morals.

What I needed help with first was figuring out if my feelings of guilt were based on an accurate view of myself. I didn’t know if I was judging myself against my own standards or the standards of others.

I didn’t know which thoughts and feelings were distorted and which were reality based.

Little by little I worked through my feelings and identified the things about myself that I wanted, no, NEEDED to change. I began to realize that guilt becomes tricky to resolve once we are aware that we legitimately screwed up.

Too often we combat feelings of guilt by blaming others, hiding in denial and not wanting to admit the painful truth of our ugly behavior. Unfortunately, in my case, even admitting my part and expressing true remorse was not enough. I wanted a willing partner to hear my plea for forgiveness and to absolve me of my guilt. I didn’t have that luxury.

Watch the video below to learn more about how you can lift the burden of guilt, or scroll down to read the highlights.

I needed to lift the burden of guilt and I had to do it without an outside pardon.

Here are the 3 Simple Ways How I Have Lifted The Burden Of Guilt In My Life

Way #1: I found safe places to share my feelings and receive unconditional love and acceptance.

[bctt tweet="Lift your guilt by finding safe places to share your feelings. #guilt #relationships"]

Not everyone will listen without judgment, however it is incredibly powerful to find and talk to people who will. In that space, it is easier to breathe. People who practice empathy and compassion will relate to your pain and will remind you that you are not alone in your humanness. This process opens the doors from the prison that guilt builds. It shows us that the prison is self-imposed and that we can do the footwork to lift the burden.

Way #2: I let go of the need to be perfect (mostly).

[bctt tweet="Good enough is the new perfect. #guilt #relationships"]

Strangely, myself, my clients and my loved ones all strive to be perfect. This is so ironic since it is so impossible! Letting go of perfectionism does not absolve us from the responsibility of doing our best, but it acknowledges that shit happens and none of us is well positioned to judge someone else. Letting go of the need to be perfect is a process. It takes time to integrate a foreign or unfamiliar skill. Ultimately, this can be one of the most powerful personal development quests you can embark upon.

Way #3: I changed the things I had control over…ME.

[bctt tweet="I changed the things I had control over ... me. #guilt #relationships"]

This means I identified the behaviors I didn’t like and I worked – hard, to change them. Too often, I hear folks say “this is just how I am”. If “how you are” is hurting people, it is also hurting you and is getting in the way of true happiness and satisfaction. Taking responsibility for choices and behaviors and then changing them is the most effective way to improve your esteem if you are burdened by guilt.

If you are burdened by guilt I encourage you to reach out. I am one of those safe places where you will receive unconditional love and acceptance.

That doesn’t mean I will condone hurtful behavior, but it does mean I will empathize and remind you that I too have done hurtful things. I will guide you on your path to lifting your burden of guilt. Sign up for my on the house consult or call me at (561) 221-5575.

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