Accepting divorce and moving on ... divorce is a word that evokes an emotional response. It conjures images, thoughts, and feelings of failure, sadness and shame. For some, it may also generate feelings of relief. The process of first making the choice to get divorced and then following through can be very difficult.
Indecision about ending a relationship is normal, so it can be very helpful to work through the process with the support of a therapist.
Once you have made the decision, be prepared for an entirely new set of circumstances and consequences to be worked through… And remember that you are not alone and this too shall pass.
Accepting Divorce And Moving On
Divorce is a very personal experience that can be difficult to talk about, especially with those who have never been through it. For each person, the process and healing come in its own time and space.
- There are others who have gone before you that can listen and empathize with you.
- Coming to terms with divorce may not be enough to eliminate the fear of rejection from others.
- It is common to feel as though being divorced means that you are damaged, flawed, or imperfect.
- It is in true self-acceptance that you can make peace with being divorced.
- If you experience rejection from others following a divorce, recognize that those in judgment have their own fears and you do not have to join them there!
- When others reject you, it is not a commentary on your worth, but rather a statement about their own unmet needs.
All too often divorce is viewed as a personal failure. In actuality, it is the culmination of a series of choices that allow for both change and learning.
Accepting Divorce Brings A Huge Change (and Chance)
Accepting divorce and this change and being open to learning is when growth happens. The more you can love yourself and accept the story of your life, the better you will be able to love again in future relationships. The judgment of self and others can destroy relationships with self and others.
There are many resources that can help you find acceptance and peace with your divorce. Therapy is a great place to face and deal with your painful feelings.
There are also many support groups, online and otherwise that offer support from others who are going through the same experience. These are safe places where divorcees can be confident that they are not experiencing judgment from others!
Learning self-care, that involves getting emotional, physical and spiritual needs met, is a helpful choice when healing from divorce. In addition, it is important to consider the needs of children involved in a divorce. They also experience great pain and benefit immensely from having their own safe place to express their feelings, feel supported and receive validation.
Accepting Divorce And Validating Your Children's Feelings
Often during a divorce, children can feel overlooked, responsible or torn between their loved ones. Being validated for their feelings and experiences can be very powerful for children and adolescents.
For today, choose not to judge yourself for your divorce! When you accept, you will find peace. Send me your feedback: hello@dawnwigginstherapy.com
- Local Divorce Care Group: Meets on Wed 6:00-7:30 at St. Joan of Arc Catholic Church in Boca Raton, 13 sessions cost $20. Contact Rosemarie at 561-789-3865 for more information.
- DivorceCare is a friendly, caring group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. Don’t go through separation or divorce alone. Visit website.
- Helping People Find Therapists & Advocating for Ethical and Healthy Therapy & Marriage Counseling Practices. Visit website.
- This organization can help ease the stress of being a single parent by putting you in touch with other parents in your situation. Visit website.
