Do you have self esteem issues as a mom? I often struggle to keep my parenting insecurities in check. It feels like a constant internal struggle for my daughter’s approval. I swear she loves my husband more.
When she wants someone else more than me, the ugly jealousy monster arrives on the scene.
This has all been exacerbated by my weekly work commute since moving to Key Largo in the Florida Keys this year.
Are you choosing love? The world has problems. Biiiiig ones. Problems which seem impossible to scale. Gun violence, racism, sexual assault, climate change, bigotry, hate crimes, untreated mental health, tribalism, a culture of judgement and entitlement.
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
It is not envy. It is not boast.
Love is …
The best lessons learned in life are the ones you can learn during a catastrophe. After the destruction of hurricane Harvey, everyone was taking the Irma threat seriously.
I started to consider whether we would evacuate. We live on an island. Our home is on the water.
The tide surge was a concern. Could we get washed into the sea?
I understood the potential outcomes.
Vulnerability is the sensation of complete exposure with no obvious source of protection. We sometimes hear folks refer to vulnerability as ‘taking a risk’.
For example, sharing a shameful secret and not knowing how you will be received.
Or crying in front of someone else.
Maybe even initiating sex with your partner; knowing you could be rejected.
Violence, destruction and fear are ripping apart the fabric of our lives. The important thing to understand is WE are equally culpable for the destruction we face. To cope with fear and the dangers of living; we must change our response.
Whether it is domestic violence, terrorism or street crime your most powerful choices involve managing your fear response. Violent and aggressive people are looking for power and control. They want you to feel debilitating fear – it shifts the power to their advantage. (more…)
The term offense comes from the Latin ‘offensa’: striking against hurt or displeasure. It is the action of attacking. This is what anger does. Anger is a weapon that we use to protect us from emotional discomfort. Sad is a vulnerable, ugly teared gut wrenching immobilizing feeling. Anger does its dirty work. Sad isn’t satisfied with just being.
It wants to DO something; so, it enlists anger. The problem with exchanging sadness for anger is we have more conflict and less peace. We suddenly become in opposition. We tense with the desire to hurt, control or win.
Are you dealing with judgmental people? People who frequently express judgment are usually unaware of how damaging their words and behavior can be to others. Most people do not know the difference between expressing an opinion and rendering a judgment.
Judgment can show up as gossip, criticism, using the word “should”, labeling (i.e. right, wrong, good, bad) and the general practice of stating subjective information as fact.
Coping with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) after a catastrophic event: Having recently experienced hurricane Irma in the Florida Keys, I have a new vantage point on PTSD ((post-traumatic stress disorder) and natural disasters. I watched our community live in fear of Irma’s destruction in the days leading up to her arrival. We personified her – making her a target for our painful feelings. This was one way to cope with the powerlessness.
There were tears as people packed up and said goodbye to their homes. Children were asked to select their most cherished items. Many evacuated, some stayed.
I am very conscious that standing up or standing out in protest is often dangerous and scary. There seems to be more evidence than ever.
This week we have watched the death of Heather Heyer in Charlottesville, VA. She took a stand and died. We have seen Google and GoDaddy refuse to host the alt-right neo Nazi site Daily Stormer.
These tech companies took a stand at the risk of violating the constitutional right to free speech.
I take responsibility for my choice. Yes, I messed up. I was uncertain.
I asked for advice. Instead of meditating or praying and finding my truth; I gave in to my ego.
In the end, I wasn’t satisfied with the outcome.
I got mad. I was tempted to blame the advice.
I let myself down.