Are you dealing with judgmental people? People who frequently express judgment are usually unaware of how damaging their words and behavior can be to others. Most people do not know the difference between expressing an opinion and rendering a judgment.
Judgment can show up as gossip, criticism, using the word “should”, labeling (i.e. right, wrong, good, bad) and the general practice of stating subjective information as fact.
Coping with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) after a catastrophic event: Having recently experienced hurricane Irma in the Florida Keys, I have a new vantage point on PTSD ((post-traumatic stress disorder) and natural disasters. I watched our community live in fear of Irma’s destruction in the days leading up to her arrival. We personified her – making her a target for our painful feelings. This was one way to cope with the powerlessness.
There were tears as people packed up and said goodbye to their homes. Children were asked to select their most cherished items. Many evacuated, some stayed.
I am very conscious that standing up or standing out in protest is often dangerous and scary. There seems to be more evidence than ever.
This week we have watched the death of Heather Heyer in Charlottesville, VA. She took a stand and died. We have seen Google and GoDaddy refuse to host the alt-right neo Nazi site Daily Stormer.
These tech companies took a stand at the risk of violating the constitutional right to free speech.
I take responsibility for my choice. Yes, I messed up. I was uncertain.
I asked for advice. Instead of meditating or praying and finding my truth; I gave in to my ego.
In the end, I wasn’t satisfied with the outcome.
I got mad. I was tempted to blame the advice.
I let myself down.
How can marriage counseling blogs change your life? Because marriage is tough and you need tools. If you are getting married, you need to know. If you are married, you already know. I’m not trying to scare you.
I am actually a relationship optimist. With the proper tools and enough willingness, relationships can heal and thrive.
But do you have the proper tools? And do you have enough willingness?
Is finding a way on overcoming challenges something you are working on? I believe in you. You can do it! Overcoming challenges is not something I only come across in my daily therapy work but also in my daily life. Here are six easy to implement tips that work for me any time, no matter how tough the obstacle may be.
“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.” ~Gail Devers
I know I have trust issues and insecurities, where did they come from and how can I change it? Trust is first created in childhood and either builds or deteriorates over time as we grow and have relationships. Our early experiences are a huge contributor to how secure we feel in life. How good we feel about ourselves is another factor. If we are insecure, we are not likely to trust our own judgement or the actions of others.
Finally, the way we have relationships with others affects our ability to trust. Often times we get caught up in a feeling and forget to allow trust to build over time. (more…)
We are a culture of comparison. Comparing contributes to low self confidence. Rather than accepting ourselves and each other, we compete.
Better or worse, bigger or smaller, richer or poorer – the list goes on.
When we compare, we are demeaning ourselves. A little at a time. Without even realizing it.
Do you know which of the 5 love languages is your language? Perhaps you have a favorite color, or brand of soda. Maybe there is a genre of music or movie you prefer. You may even have a brand of car that you are completely loyal to. If you have a choice, you pick what you prefer. Your partner has their own preferences. You likely know what some of them are. If you are making decisions that involve your partner, it’s a good idea to consider their preference.
Do you know how to repair your relationship? There are certain behaviors we do which are the kiss of death for our relationships. They often start small. As they build into repetitive or habitual behavior, they become difficult to stop. If we don’t see an immediate consequence, we do it more.
Once the consequences start to pile up it feels too late or impossible to overcome. We use so many thinking errors to excuse our behavior. We justify: “I am who I am, my partner needs to learn to live with it”. We rationalize: “I will work on it if my partner does”. We compare: “I’m not as bad as so-and-so’s wife/husband”. And we deny: “I don’t do that, give me an example”.