Let’s get some clarity so you can answer this question if you have confidence or self-worth honestly. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me “I don’t have low self-esteem” I could’ve retired years ago.
Having Confidence Comes from Being Good at Something
Here’s the deal: being good at something gives you confidence.
That’s vastly different than self-worth. Confidence develops over time as you master a skill set. Every time you learn something new, your confidence grows. The longer you do something well, the more confident you feel.
Feeling Self Worth is Being Good Enough No Matter What
Self-worth is an entirely different animal. Self-worth is a sense of worthiness regardless of how confident you are.
- if you lost everything that gave you confidence, would you still feel good enough?
- if you couldn’t do your job or parent or walk or talk, would you still feel worthy?
Relying on Confidence and Underestimating Worthiness
Humans rely heavily on the good feeling of confidence and undervalue the importance of innate worthiness.
When we judge ourselves or others based primarily on performance, we are judging unfairly. Click To Tweet
Remember, life is a messy, risky thing that rarely goes the way we plan.
A Performance Based Life
Living in a performance-based culture undercuts self-care, relationships, and the importance of vulnerability.
I judge my car based on performance. I loathe judging people in that way. Meaning, if my car breaks down, it needs to be fixed so that it can do its job. But…
People are not Objects
We are not meant to be used or expected to perform flawlessly.
With a deep abiding awareness of our meaning. But, we forget. We forget that even in our sorrow or sickness we are worthy. Even when we can’t perform, we are still worthy. When we make mistakes while learning, we are still worthy.
You are Worthy xoxo
To the divorced, you are worthy. To the aging and decrepit, you are worthy. To the new parent who can’t get their shit together, you are worthy. To the addict, you are worthy. To those of you who are terrified to be judged or honestly seen, you are worthy. To the anxious, depressed and hopeless, you are worthy.
Don’t get me wrong, the world may tell you otherwise. But you don’t have to believe them.
You don’t have to live by the judgy standards of others.
Instead, you can choose to value your existence regardless of the critical parent, relentless boss or bougie social media influences.
So what’s your answer?
Do you have confidence, self-worth, both or neither? I’d love to know.
Not one drop of my self worth depends on your acceptance of me. It depends on my acceptance of myself.