How I got started with EMDR therapy: Shortly after Hurricane Irma came and went through my hometown, I became trained in a relatively new, amazing and powerful therapy technique called EMDR. This technique solves problems that are known as very difficult to treat. EMDR is known for its ability to heal PTSD with remarkable and permanent results. Since this training, I have been deeply affected and inspired by its results. I have watched my clients who have had the most horrific of experiences heal right before my eyes.
How the EMDR Therapy Changes Lives for the Better
Before learning the EMDR techniques, I knew I was a talented therapist. But talk therapy had its limitations.
So over the years, I’ve discovered other ways to problem solve with clients. I’ve learned and taught solutions like EFT tapping, meditation, art therapy, writing therapy, experiential therapy, and the list goes on.
A lot of these things are used both in and out of therapy sessions to promote personal progress and stability.
What’s even more interesting is: even though the EMDR therapy is fancy and magical and scientific, it works best with clients who also use the other supportive therapies. Meaning, I can’t just wave my finger in front of a semi-willing client and get the same results. Trust me; I’ve tried.
Holding Walls Up
If a client has walls up, is holding secrets, is in denial, won’t allow themselves to feel feelings or is just plain resistant, I can’t do nearly as much with the EMDR therapy.
In my experience, some clients will always get results and some clients just won’t. Clients who don’t get results typically fall into two categories.
The first group is the victims. They blame others, focus on whats not fair and usually demand a quick fix. And whats worse, they often want me to fix someone else lol.
The other group is those heavily invested in what they have rather than who they are. These clients are focused on having validation, power, control, status and wealth.
With these types of priorities, it’s tough to work on much of anything in therapy.
Trust me, there is a recipe for success!
There are very specific mindsets that lead to guaranteed results in healing through therapy.
It Takes Significant Courage to Resolve Big Problems
Courage is the ability to feel fear and take action anyway.
The toe to toe, eye to eye facing of something painful or confusing and refusing to back down or give up.
Courage doesn’t guarantee you will get the outcome you want. But without courage, you will settle for how it is rather than how it could be.
Having Trust to Heal a Complex Problem
It takes considerable trust (aka vulnerability) to heal a complex problem. Getting better typically requires collaboration with others. Connecting with and learning from others allows us to grow in ways we didn’t see before.
Whether its the support of a loved one or guidance from a trusted professional, we need people.
Letting Go and Trusting to Receive
But we have to let go, embrace vulnerability and trust to receive the full benefit.
Trusting not just them, but also ourselves. Not blindly. The small, confident voice inside of you will whisper yes or no. If you can listen, and if you will hear it. The voice of truth isn’t a fearful one. It is a persistent voice of instinct, gut or intuition.
You will also need substantial willingness to heal.
I Can and I Will
It says: “I can and I will.” It doesn’t say ‘no’ or ‘I’ll try.’
Willingness is contemplative, curious and cooperative. Willingness springs from an unguarded heart and an open mind.
It Requires Commitment and Consistency to Heal Big Wounds
Yes, it takes significant commitment and consistency to heal big wounds. In the way, lifestyle change works better than dieting, and experienced surgeons are preferable over neophytes, healing happens when you practice. You only have to practice one day at a time. and then they days add up!
Over and over and over.
No giving up, dropping out or throwing away.
It also takes big hope to recover.
- Hope is a deep knowing that somehow, some way there is purpose and possibility.
- Hope keeps searching and struggling, even when it looks dark.
- And, hope gives life to everything through its belief in anything.
So, no bullshit
Do you want significant results in your life, your healing, your grief recovery, your marriage?
You Can’t Half-Ass It
If you are worried it may waste your time, your money or your reputation, don’t bother trying.
Changing your circumstances means diving deep.
How far are you willing to go to have the life you want?
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron