An image of a couple holding hands whose reflection is getting lost in a puddle, falling out of loveYou want to know how to tell if you are falling out of love. I get it. I’ve been divorced and remarried and the divorce part sucked. Part of my healing journey was to figure out how we fell out of love. I wanted to prevent it from happening in my next relationship! Most of us want our relationships to be ‘forever’. But maintaining forever can be pretty challenging.

Falling Out of Love Versus Love Oozing Out of Your Relationship

My current marriage has love oooozing out of it. That’s largely because I’ve learned how to sustain a loving relationship.

So, what are the number one signs you’re falling out of love?

  • You anticipate your partners faults.
  • You’re convinced you ‘know them’ and you don’t have faith that they ‘can change’.
  • Each time your partner disappoints you, it reinforces your belief that it’s hopeless.
  • You don’t see them through the rosy glasses of mushy love. Instead, you see a disappointing, infuriating, pathetic excuse for a relationship.

 

Are you struggling to bust out of this pattern?

  • You know you loved them once but can’t get in touch with that spark that used to be so readily accessible.
  • You can’t change your partner (but that doesn’t mean you’re partner can’t change).

And, your relationship may actually suck. But there are some definite things you can change within yourself.

That’s where I come in. I want to tell you a story and find out if you can relate.

 

Assuming Something is Wrong 

As I left the house one morning, I thought something was going wrong. There were strange bugs in my butterfly garden. I was hoping for butterflies, and instead, I found entire colonies of yellow larvae on each branch.

But wait, a few days later I also saw ladybugs on the plants.

Knowledge is Power!

The following week, a friend told me ladybugs eat predator bugs.

Hmmm, I wonder if I’ve got a ladybug farm on my hands?

A little researching and BAM! I shifted from concern to excitement.

All those worrisome feelings flew away. Little did I know, nature was providing me with a protective force, not out to ruin my life.

Have you ever had a similar experience?

You anticipated the worst but instead, something different or even wonderful was happening?

This story highlights how negative thought patterns can show you how to tell if you are falling out of love with ANYTHING!

 

Falling Out of Love Because You Don’t See Your Partner’s Value

What if you don’t completely know or understand your partner? What if there is more for you to understand about them, their motives, interests, and needs? What if they aren’t out to get you?

I obviously don’t and can’t know the answers to those questions.

 “Altering your perspective can create important and positive shifts in how much love you feel in your relationship.” ~Dawn Wiggins

Anticipating the negative is a tough habit to break. And it infects everything we do.

Our love life, our parenting, our work and most importantly the way we see ourselves.

Life will feel more amazing when you stop worrying that it isn’t. Click To Tweet

 

Anticipating the Negative

Anxiety is a product of anticipating the negative.

Also, most relationship bickering is stimulated by a negative prediction about your partner. Bickering reinforces negative patterns and pushes us further and further from those warm fuzzy feelings we want to have.

Our Belief System

This tendency typically comes from a deeply held negative belief that was developed in earlier years during the time when we are crafting our belief system.

When we are young, crafting beliefs isn’t a highly conscious thought. In fact, we adopt many of them unconsciously from our surroundings.

If you can relate to anticipating the worst in your partner, you know how to tell if you are falling out of love.

Join me in consciously choosing to shift your negative beliefs into positive ones.

But please, only do this if you are willing to experience abundant happy feelings in your relationship or marriage. The consequence of shifting your core beliefs is you see your relationship in a whole new light. 🙂

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Dawn Wiggins
Dawn Wiggins is the founder and owner of Dawn Wiggins Therapy and Help Towards Hope. She knew she wanted to be a psychotherapist at the age of 12. Dawn is inspired to write about the things she experiences in her everyday life. She believes that her personal and professional experiences can help others overcome the same challenges. Her husband is her biggest fan and her go to editor-he is much better with grammar, punctuation and tenses!