You want to know how to tell if you are falling out of love. I get it. I've been divorced and remarried and the divorce part sucked. And part of my healing journey was to figure out how we fell out of love. I wanted to prevent it from happening in my next relationship! Most of us want our relationships to be 'forever'. But maintaining forever can be pretty challenging.
So, what are the number one signs you're falling out of love?
- You anticipate your partner's faults.
- You're convinced you 'know them' and you don't have faith that they 'can change'.
- Each time your partner disappoints you, it reinforces your belief that it's hopeless.
- You don't see them through the rosy glasses of mushy love. Instead, you see a disappointing, infuriating, pathetic excuse for a relationship.
Are you struggling to bust out of this pattern?
- You know you loved them once but can't get in touch with that spark that used to be so readily accessible.
- You can't change your partner (but that doesn't mean you're partner can't change).
And, your relationship may actually suck. But there are some definite things you can change within yourself.
That's where I come in. I want to tell you a story and find out if you can relate.
Assuming Something is Wrong
As I left the house one morning, I thought something was going wrong. There were strange bugs in my butterfly garden. I was hoping for butterflies, and instead, I found entire colonies of yellow larvae on each branch.
But wait, a few days later I also saw ladybugs on the plants.
Knowledge is Power!
The following week, a friend told me ladybugs eat predator bugs.
Hmmm, I wonder if I've got a ladybug farm on my hands?
A little researching and BAM! I shifted from concern to excitement. And all those worrisome feelings flew away. Little did I know, nature was providing me with a protective force, not out to ruin my life.
Have you ever had a similar experience?
You anticipated the worst but instead, but something different or even wonderful was happening?
This story highlights how negative thought patterns can show you how to tell if you are falling out of love with ANYTHING!
Falling Out of Love Because You Don't See Your Partner's Value
What if you don't completely know or understand your partner? Maybe there is more for you to understand about them, their motives, interests, and needs? What if they aren't out to get you?
I obviously don't and can't know the answers to those questions.
"Altering your perspective can create important and positive shifts in how much love you feel in your relationship." ~Dawn Wiggins
Anticipating the negative is a tough habit to break. And it infects everything we do.
Our love life, our parenting, our work and most importantly the way we see ourselves.
Anticipating the Negative
Anxiety is a product of anticipating the negative.
Also, most relationship bickering is stimulated by a negative prediction about your partner. Bickering reinforces negative patterns and pushes us further and further from those warm fuzzy feelings we want to have.
Our Belief System
This tendency typically comes from a deeply held negative belief that was developed in earlier years during the time when we are crafting our belief system.
When we are young, crafting beliefs isn't a highly conscious thought. In fact, we adopt many of them unconsciously from our surroundings.
If you can relate to anticipating the worst in your partner, you know how to tell if you are falling out of love.
But please, only do this if you are willing to experience abundant happy feelings in your relationship or marriage. The consequence of shifting your core beliefs is you see your relationship in a whole new light. 🙂
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