Do you struggle to consistently connect with your partner? When you’re striving to juggle your life and all it's dynamics, it’s understandable that balls get dropped from time to time. It's essential to sense the shift when it happens and readjust to accommodate, or sometimes drop the extra weight.
Your relationships with your friends and family are some of the most fundamental components of your life. And while they bring a lot of joy and fulfillment, at times you have to shift gears and focus more attention on your spouse.
Your Personal Happiness Influences Your Life's Overall Success
When your marriage is strained, every other aspect of your life will become strained.
You’ll find that the health and happiness of your marriage directly influences your career, goals, stress and anxiety levels. Relationships with other people in your life also become strained, because of this, maintaining balance within your partnership is of the utmost importance.
I know you lead a busy life with a million little things demanding your attention throughout your day. I commonly find that my clients struggle more to connect with their partner when they don’t make enough time.
When you don’t make time to encourage your marriage and connect with your spouse, even during the most chaotic times, you’ll find one day that you have damaged one of the most vital relationships you have.
How Can You Connect With Your Partner When You Feel Overwhelmed By Everything Else?
So, how do you make the time to connect with your spouse when you both have kids/careers/friends/family/hobbies/activities/etc. all vying for your attention simultaneously?
The truth is it doesn’t come easy. No one ever said marriage was going to be a walk in the park, right? You chose to build your life with your partner, and keeping that in mind, let’s take a look at some ways you can fit in some essential one-on-one time with your spouse. Doing so will continue to build upon a strong foundation. Below, you’ll find 7 ideas to get you started.
7 Ideas to Connect With Your Partner on a Deeper Level
#1 Connect on the Go
These days it may seem like you’re always on the run, but don’t let that deter you from connecting with partner.
When you don’t have time for a full-fledged conversation, sometimes sending a meaningful text or email can make a difference. But you need to go deeper than “I love you” or “Thinking of you”. The idea is to demonstrate thoughtfulness and effort. Leaving affectionate post-it notes at home where your spouse will see them is something else that can bring a smile to their face. Here are some examples that will provide a beautiful gift for your partner:
- "Thinking of you brings a smile to my face and reminds me I'm not alone."
- "I wanted to remind you how truly special you are"
- "I can't wait to wrap you in a big hug when I get home tonight"
#2 Be Thankful
No doubt, you and your spouse put a lot of effort into making your lives successful. Take a moment to acknowledge the things that your partner does to help you and your family. Even a simple “Thank you for being my spouse” can bring a smile to your loved one’s face. Everyone likes to be appreciated, and when you thank someone for what they do it makes them feel seen.
#3 Catch Up
When you don’t take the time regularly to chat about what your spouse has going on in their daily life, you may find the disconnect between you both causes a pretty big gap in your relationship. After all, you’re building a life together, not two separate lives, right? Even if it’s just 5 minutes, make it a point at least once per day to catch up with your loved one and hear about their day.
#4 Date Your Partner
This is where I’ve seen a lapse time and time again. Once couples marry, or have kids, they get so caught up in life that they forget to date. When you stop dating your spouse, you’re cutting out that essential “couple time” that’s so important. Dating doesn’t need to be a full-fledged dinner and a movie night out. Carving out time as a couple can be challenging. Many schedules don’t allow for weekly dates. But I find if you make a point to spend some one-on-one time at least once per month, it can be refreshing for you both.
Laughter is just another way to connect with your partner. Laughing together is an excellent opportunity for bonding, and it doesn’t take a lot of effort. Crack a joke as you pass each other in the hall. Text a funny GIF or video. Sharing an inside joke you have together. Laughter really is the best medicine and can reestablish the feeling that you’re both in this together.
#6 Listen and Be Present
This can be a tricky one! Especially when you’re running on tight schedules and limited time. However, listening to your spouse is imperative. Make it a point to really hear what your partner is saying, even in the most routine or mundane of conversations. When your partner sees that you’re actively being present in the conversation and listening to what they have to say, it can make them feel supported. And it can go a long way in nourishing your marriage.
#7 Speak Your Couple Love Language
Every couple has their own love language, and it’s vital that you remain fluent in speaking the tongue. Be it a quick shoulder rub as you pass in the kitchen. Grabbing them a cup of coffee from their favorite spot. Winking from across a crowded room will also help you to connect with your partner. The small rituals you’ve established with your spouse over the years can be important reminders as to who you are as a couple.
If you find the disconnect between you and your partner has caused a gap in your marriage, too large for you to navigate on your own or that your efforts alone aren’t enough, don’t despair. Therapists such as myself are here to help you and your spouse map a plan to close the gap and reconnect.
Let’s touch base and form a plan together to get you back on track to being the amazing couple that you are.
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