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What I hear you saying is you like the idea of facing your shit. I’m relieved and excited that you find the idea how to grow as a person so powerful. I know from experience that it’s easier said than done. There are so many excuses and distractions that get in our way. The most common ones I hear is lack of time, money or faith that it will even help. Well, it does help.
How to Grow as a Person: 5 Things to Consider that May Be Blocking Your Progress
1. You let fear run rampant.
And, you may not even know it.
As a result, you miss opportunities to grow and change personally and professionally. Perhaps you struggle with anxiety. Or maybe you totally avoid conflict. You may repetitively picture scary or negative outcomes in your mind.
And then you make decisions from that fearful place rather than finding the source of the fear and dealing with it.
What do I mean by dealing with it?
- The irrational to the rational.
- Enhancing your self-confidence.
- Instead of avoiding it or shutting it down, talk to someone about it.
- Someone who will listen deeply and GO to that place with you.
2. Say what you mean, mean what you say and don’t say it mean.
This is about speaking your truth, even when it’s unpopular or scary (see #1 lol).
Most people struggle with this because they don’t want to hurt feelings or deal with potential conflict.
Or conversely, they go too far and rage out.
To Speak Your Truth, You Have to Know Your Truth.
So perhaps start with a deep breath, checking inside and noticing if you feel timid or angry or misunderstood.
Next, you say it out loud!!
With some practice, you will be a regular truth speaker.
The cool thing is, most people appreciate knowing where they stand. They like the trust that comes from authentic exchanges. So, stop faking it or hollering it…and just say it.
3. Your Work-Life Balance Sucks.
The most important thing to notice here is WHY?!?
- Are you afraid of being broke?
- Is it the only place you feel successful or that you’re winning at life?
- Do you hate being at home?
- Maybe it’s the “I’ll be happy when” mentality?
Once you know why; you can begin strategically facing your shit and creating some balance between work and life.
4. You don’t know how to relax. (Beer, wine, and Netflix don’t count).
- Letting go and feeling peace from the inside.
- Finding a space where you are not burdened by issues. Yours, someone else’s, or the issues of the planet.
- Allowing yourself to completely surrender (different than giving up).
- Embracing Rhett Butler’s “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
The reason alcohol, video games and Netflix don’t count is because your brain is still being stimulated.
You’ve Shut Off Instead of Winding Down.
Or, you are escaping rather than learning how to find peace.
The long-term effect of this is your central nervous system screaming for a break.
Sleep patterns get screwed up, ulcers, temper tantrums, screaming at your children and disconnection from people you love. Sure, you’ll sleep when you’re dead.
But, We Chronically Choose to Delay Consequences.
As each decade passes I realize, I wish I had been more self-caring in the previous decade. You can’t unwind time. In the end, you’ll regret not learning how to truly and fully relax.
5. You Blame Other People and Circumstances for Your Problems.
As my homegirl, Brene Brown says – blame is the way we discharge our emotional pain and discomfort.
So, I get it, you’re feeling some type of way.
[bctt tweet="There are two options: make progress, or make excuses."]
But blaming your landlord, your ex or your boss isn’t getting you anywhere. It’s time to take responsibility for your feelings and choices. It’s a big job, but only you can do it.
I leave you today with something to think about in this epic clip from Will Smith.
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