How to Heal Yourself Without Waiting for That Apology You Always Longed For

You know that feeling of desperately wanting the other person to apologize. To admit what they did wrong and understand how they have hurt you. To see your side of things, change their opinion and agree with you. Because if they did, the pain and obsessive thinking would stop. The heartache/rage/regret would go. You would feel better and finally have some peace. Except, they don't seem to get it. And you're tired. 

How to Heal Yourself through Acceptance, Forgiveness and Love

I get it. People are tricky, and relationships can be very disappointing.

But let me ask you something.

Before you point your finger (or fingers) at the other guy, how much energy do you put into taking your own inventory?

How much effort do you put into facing your struggles and working on them - consistently?

After all, you want the folks around you to be consistent; don't you?

I'm talking about your blind spots, your wounds, the things you'd rather not face.

Taking Down Our Blind Spots

You're not alone.

I have them too - those pesky insecurities, bad habits, and imperfections. They cause me to get in my own way, fall off the rails and sabotage my success.

So when I catch myself wanting to change someone else, I remind myself that it doesn't work.

Living and Letting Live

Instead, I change my mind and choose to live and let live.

Because trying to control other people is like being on a hamster wheel - working really hard never to get anywhere. Well, perhaps into a smaller dress size but that's about it.

So, I focus on becoming an expert at healing myself. 

Become an Expert in Healing Yourself

Can you do the same?

By getting to the bottom of your hurt.

Rejected, unloved, misunderstood, unimportant or wounded by someone else's actions.

Yesterday or a generation ago.

#1 Let Go of the Past Pain

If it still stings when you put your full attention on it, it is causing problems for you.

It's blocking your happiness and your ability to have satisfying relationships. It's creating conflict, both inside and outside of you.

Allow yourself to heal, heal your hurt and heal your relationships.

That person you are struggling to feel loved by, the one who hasn't apologized; they have their own hurts. They also want to feel loved and valued. We don't always have to understand each other.

#2 Learn How to Accept Each Other and Yourself 

Acceptance is a form of reckoning.

It's an acknowledgment I don't have control.

It's the realization I can solve my problems without making someone else responsible.

#3 Take Responsibility for Your Own Actions

You've seen this in every drama series or movie - ever. Making someone else pay for their sins never resolves your pain.

It may feel temporarily powerful.

But it doesn't deliver long-term relief from the wound.

Few things bring the comfort you seek - they are acceptance, forgiveness, and love.

I'm no Pollyanna. Sure, I'm relatively optimistic, but I'm also a pragmatist. I am a solution-oriented dreamer. I want to know what works so I can do it. So while my message may sound all hope and change, that is because it works.

I dare you to prove me wrong. (Winking)

“Acceptance, Forgiveness & Love. The most powerful form of reckoning.” ~Dawn Wiggins