Do you know how to repair your relationship? There are certain behaviors we do which are the kiss of death for our relationships. They often start small. As they build into repetitive or habitual behavior, they become difficult to stop. If we don’t see an immediate consequence, we do it more.
Once the consequences start to pile up it feels too late or impossible to overcome. We use so many thinking errors to excuse our behavior. We justify: “I am who I am, my partner needs to learn to live with it”. We rationalize: “I will work on it if my partner does”. We compare: “I’m not as bad as so-and-so’s wife/husband”. And we deny: “I don’t do that, give me an example”.
How To Repair Your Relationship: These are Some of the Many Ways We Poison our Own Love Lives
I invite you to take an extremely honest look at your own behavior.
I know you’ve already thought, “My partner does these things”.
What if you examined yourself?
What if you took responsibility for the health and well being of your relationship?
Read more about the five things you want to stop doing below and find out how to repair your relationship now!
Lets Take a Look at 5 Things You are Probably Doing and You Don’t Even Know It
1. Taking Your Partner for Granted.
There are many things your partner does that are amazing. You focus on what’s wrong instead of what’s good.
Your partner wants to feel loved and valued in the same way you do.
[bctt tweet=”Your partner wants to feel loved, valued, and cherished in the same way you do. “]
Answer these Questions for Yourself:
- Does your partner feel rejected?
- How often do you express gratitude for the things your partner contributes?
- Do you respect your partner’s time?
I am guilty of this, especially in the area of parenting. I can often be found socializing, napping or working and my hubby just steps in to pick up the slack with our daughter.
There is a relationship blame game article you want to check out that talks about blame and how to avoid it.
2. Not Taking Care of Yourself.
This could be physically, emotionally or mentally.
If you are bored, depressed, lethargic, stressed out, or anxious; your partner is suffering the consequences.
Answer these Questions for Yourself:
- Do you think positive thoughts?
- Do you have your own interests, friends, fitness practices or coping skills? If not, why not? Your partner does not complete you.
[bctt tweet=”The only person who can sustain your well being is YOU. “]
The only person who can sustain your well being is you. When we are consistently in an ugly place, it becomes a turnoff to our partner.
3. Not Being Present.
If it’s difficult to get your attention or keep it, your partner feels marginalized.
[bctt tweet=”If it’s difficult for your partner to get your attention or keep it, he or she feels marginalized. “]
Answer these Questions for Yourself:
- Can you use your imagination?
- Is your attention span longer than 3 seconds?
- Do you cling to your smart phone or TV more than your partner?
Put them down, spend time together.
Does your partner set boundaries? Do You? It’s important to set boundaries for yourself and your partner should too!
4. Infrequent or Lame, Boring Sex.
This is not cool. You may have your reasons.
“We have kids, I’m tired, I don’t feel good about my body, my sex drive is off, I just don’t enjoy it anymore, I’m not attracted to my partner.”
Too bad!
Find a solution. If your relationship is sex starved, it will wither away become difficult to revive.
5. Being Defensive, Critical, Blaming and Resentful.
How often do you apologize, speak with love and kindness in your voice or feel love for your partner?
Your underlying attitudes and beliefs about your partner are expressed in your tone of voice.
[bctt tweet=”You express your underlying attitudes and beliefs about your partner in your tone of voice.”]
If you are short tempered, rude and snippy, your partner doesn’t enjoy being around you. The constant barrage of negativity is too much to deal with.
It’s possible to create the best relationship you can have by understanding the three love basics in a relationship.
Feeling Frustrated or Overwhelmed by Trying to Overcome These Issues on Your Own?
If you feel frustrated or overwhelmed by trying to overcome these issues and if you want to find out how to repair your relationship, call me at my Boca Raton marriage, couples, family, or group counseling, or Key Largo therapy and marriage counseling office at (561) 221-5575 or fill out my on the house consult and we will find your win-win!
I will help you sort them out and make changes one at a time. Long lasting improvements take practice. Don’t expect yourself or your partner to change overnight.
Do-It-Yourself Essential Elements of the
“How-to Be Happy” Checklist.
In it you will discover exactly which things you need to change if you want to feel happier and attract more loving relationships. Check it out and subscribe below!
