Loneliness after Divorce: How To Overcome It

5 Minutes Read

Loneliness, after divorce, feels like a risky and uncomfortable feeling to sit with. The entire process of divorce is lonely. It often feels like singlehandedly carrying all of the responsibilities in the world with no one around to help. And the loneliness leads to some pretty destructive choices. They usually involve alcohol, maybe some recreational drugs, random sex, and spending money on things you do not need. But none of it works. Not for longer than a few hours. And then you crash. And feel like shit. And deeply alone.

The Story of Loneliness after Divorce

You Want to Be Wanted … Again

You know you’re not ready to date, but you want someone to want you. To hold your hand and take your call when you’re having a bad day. A person to love, to stem the flow of blood from the gunshot wound. But dating won’t work. You haven’t healed the wounds from before, during or after divorce. Which means you’re exceptionally raw, your perspective is shot, you’re highly susceptible to feeling rejected and doing a shitty job of picking dates.

So now what?

You learn the secret to loneliness. Loneliness is a result of 2 things. A wound that existed before you ever got married. And the injury that happened as a result of the divorce.

Experiencing Grief and Loss

The wound from divorce is grief and loss. It’s the process of letting go of your ex, your life as it was, the dreams you didn’t fulfill and learning to accept that (at least for now) there are some empty spaces. Those empty spaces are one of the reasons you feel lonely.

Except, it’s not the whole story.

Loneliness and Emptiness

There is an earlier wound. It may feel even deeper than lonely, like emptiness. And without sourcing it, treating it and healing it,  loneliness and emptiness will always be right around the corner ready to strike. I understand that some of you may have no clue about what I’m referencing. You may not see an earlier wound. That’s ok because folks like me know how to help you find it.

Either way, I want to invite you to identify all the things you have been doing to avoid loneliness. Avoiding it is not addressing it. And many of these things were probably going on even before your divorce. Check out this list and note how many of them apply to you. None of them are inherently wrong. But, they are clues about behaviors that could block your ability to solve the problem once and for all.

Your Way of Dealing With Loneliness after Divorce

  • Overworking
  • Filling any spare minute with an activity
  • Buying things for your kiddos so they will love you more
  • Drinking
  • Screen time
  • Chronically helping other people
  • Overthinking/Analyzing
  • Flirting/Dating
  • Traveling constantly
  • Obsessing over your ex

Nailed it didn’t I?

I know because I did them too. But if you want to get past this and end up happily ever after, you need a new plan.

Overcoming Loneliness after Divorce: Listen, Learn, Shift

To help you get to the bottom of your loneliness, I created a complete guide to help you resolve the loneliness once and for all. This guide will do several things for you:

  1. Provide you with a different choice when you’re feeling lonely. Sometimes you don’t know what to do with your pain, and you need some guidance. Turning to the guide and listening to the guided meditation is something to do that will put you on the path to healing instead of avoiding.
  2. Help you feel less alone in those dark moments, and it’s too late to call someone, or you’re afraid those snotty tears are too intense to lay on someone else.
  3. Guide you to the source of your loneliness and teach you how to resolve it. And the more you practice, the clearer you will get. Once you find the cause (there could be multiple causes) you can start to treat/heal/address it.

And if you’re inclined to click off of this page instead of downloading, I’d challenge you to do some soul searching about why.

When I help people explore their resistance, the typical answer is: “I don’t want to feel the pain or find something I don’t want to find.”

You Aren’t Alone

I am here to support and guide you through this struggle. But you have to take action. Reading this article isn't enough to change your life. So scroll down to grab the free guide I created for you to resolve your loneliness. I'll see you in your inbox <3

And for even more support and guidance, I have a 12-week digital course, community, and coaching program that I offer twice a year. The next launch is coming soon. If you'd like to know more, get on the list!

 

blonde woman dancing in the sunshine and laughing, happy after marriage counseling

Get relief from loneliness today!

Get the free guide

Enter your email address and you will receive an email from me delivering your PDF guide + video link. Over the next week, I will coach you through the guide to relieving loneliness via email. No strings attached.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

blonde woman dancing in the sunshine and laughing, happy after marriage counseling

Get relief from loneliness today!

Get the free guide

Enter your email address and you will receive an email from me delivering your PDF guide + video link. Over the next week, I will coach you through the guide to relieving loneliness via email. No strings attached.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Is Loneliness Stealing your Happiness?

Download your Free guide and:

  • Receive a specific action plan     
  • Get lasting relief from loneliness
  • Feel more connected to others    
  • Feel better about yourself           

Is Loneliness Stealing your Happiness?

Download your Free guide and:

  • Receive a specific action plan     
  • Get lasting relief from loneliness
  • Feel more connected to others    
  • Feel better about yourself           
Scroll to Top