We all struggle with forgiveness. When we feel hurt, mistreated, or betrayed we get angry and want an apology or amends so we can forgive the other person. We don't always get what we want. Holding on to this anger creates negative energy and hurts our personal development.
What can you do to overcome this?
What's included in the Three Steps to Forgiveness?
Watch the video below or scroll down to find the highlights of our Blab show about the steps to take that help you reaching forgiveness.
Step 1: Accept The Pain
When we are hurting, we have a tendency to want others to change their behavior to alleviate our suffering.
Newsflash: that doesn’t work.
Forgiveness is a process that focuses on self, not on what the other person, party or organization has done. Forgiveness is a personal process that provides you with freedom regardless of what anyone else is doing.
When we can accept that forgiveness is our own work and stop arguing that the pain “shouldn’t have happened”, we move closer to forgiving.
Step 2: Find Purpose in the Pain
- Choose to approach each event in life, past and present from a learner’s perspective.
- Choose to grow, hope and change the things in life that aren’t working for you.
I believe that each of your painful experiences (emotional or physical) can benefit you if you choose to grow and learn from it.
Sometimes purpose does not reveal itself immediately. Waiting patiently for the awareness of a purpose may be a new or different feeling that takes some getting used to.
Be gentle with yourself, this is a process and sometimes it happens quickly and sometimes it takes its time. When you find purpose in the pain, forgiveness becomes that much easier.
At this point in the process, we are taking responsibility and maintaining the focus on self instead of actively blaming others.
Step 3: Accept the Purpose and Release the Pain
When you fully embrace the purpose and begin to put it into action, you can release the pain and embrace purpose instead. The brain can be a fickle thing and it doesn’t like to lose; so it wants something to hold onto.
- Hold onto purpose and release your pain.
- Allow yourself to fully embrace love, for yourself and others.
From this place of love, forgiveness is all that is left! Love and resentment don’t function well together, the one you feed is the one that lives.
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