The top reasons for divorce are resentment, dishonesty, judgement, arrogance and insecurity. You may think arrogance and insecurity do not fit together. They actually go hand in hand. For some, arrogance is how they cope with insecurity. A divorce proof marriage has a strong foundation of unconditional love and acceptance. Let’s start at the beginning.
Do you know what your motive is for marriage?
Many would say … duh Dawn, I am motivated by love! Actually fear, family, religion, money and status are common motivators.
The Top Three Reasons For A Divorce
Top Reasons for Divorce: Insecurity
To have unconditional love, you first need self-worth.
- Without self-worth, your motives can be manipulated by your insecurities. Accomplishment and accolades do not equal self-worth.
- Since self-worth takes time to cultivate, you will need to prioritize personal growth and self-care.
You can do this through embracing vulnerability, and claiming your true identity without feeling compelled to defend or hide.
Additionally, you can immediately improve your marriage by refusing to think fearful thoughts. Instead, if your relationship is at risk for divorce, take action.
Stop allowing your fear to block healing and perpetuate insecurity.
Top Reasons for Divorce: Dishonesty & Judgement
Before you married, did you ever have thoughts of “well, maybe he or she will change”?
Even at the most innocent level, that thought is judgmental and dishonest. Entering into an agreement with someone hoping they will change is a setup for failure.
It is crucial to be honest with yourself and your partner about what you are looking for.
If you are not able to accept your partner as they are, it’s time to evaluate your choices.
Top Reasons for Divorce: Resentment & Arrogance
If you are considering divorce, you have likely experienced resentment in your marriage.
- When did you first notice it?
- What are you doing to resolve it?
- Are you receiving professional help?
Marriage expert Dr. John Gottman says divorce is due to criticism, contempt, defensiveness and finally: stonewalling (withdrawing). These 4 behaviors are symptoms of
- insecurity,
- dishonesty,
- judgement,
- resentment and
- arrogance.
Do you have a strategy to address the behaviors or the symptoms?
There are effective strategies and antidotes. They require humility, guidance, practice and patience.
On average, only 5% of divorcing couples seek professional help. That is a frightening statistic given global divorce rates range from 53% in the US to 71% in Belgium. This is to say, admit when you need help and be willing to work hard! It’s ok that you don’t have the answers. It’s not ok if you are too arrogant to acknowledge it.
As your relationship expert and strategist I can guide you to the solutions that will heal your marriage. You do not have to succumb to the top reasons for divorce! If you want some support in finding solutions for your marriage, call me at (561) 221-5575 or schedule your on the house consultation now!
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